We are very honored and grateful that you have chosen this most important and sacred ceremony of your life to be held here at our temple. Thank you very much. In vedic ceremonies a mantra is chanted, ‘”Om apavitra-pavitro-va sarva-vastam gato api va yah smaret pundarikaksham sah bhayabhyantara suchih’. In essence this reveals to us that the purpose of human life is to purify our hearts. there is beautiful verse, ‘nitya sidda Krishna prema’, that love for God is within the heart of every living being.In that love for God it includes every living being. when you love the whole, you love every part naturally, spontaneously. The perfection of samadhi is to awaken that divine love that is within us and to be an instrument of that love in every aspect of our life. In the sixth chapter of Gita Krishna explains the ashtanga yoga system and He concludes that chapter,
yoginam api sarvesam
sraddhavan bhajate yo mam
sa me yuktatamo matah
that one who awakens that divine love within is most perfect among yogis and he is most intimately connected to the supreme through that yoga. –teacher is in –as far as I know about your histories, you were brought together very much through the practice of yoga. Yoga means to being together, means to harmonize, to unite, ultimately the union of individual soul with the Supreme soul. Bhakti we believe that we become one with the supreme through our love. where there is unmotivated, unconditional love people become one in spirit, one in essence. Today’s marriage ceremony once again you have been brought together on an another level through yoga. In our spiritual principle marriage is a sacred event that is to be taken as a priority above everything else. for a marriage to work in this world it is very difficult. Infact anything great is difficult, cheap things comes easy. if you want a cheap relationship then everything will be easy, but when it becomes difficult then the relationship is broken. If we really want our relation to have deep substance, deep meaning and deep performant difficulties have to be –, and how do we do that?. from the day of marriage throught our lives to deeply within our hearts accept that our relationship is based on higher principles. Because the nature of mind is sometime we like each other and sometimes we don’t like eachother. sometimes we are happy, sometimes we are angry, the ego is very flickering and the mind is even more flickering, and the senses are quite flickering also. If our relationship is based on this superficial principles then our relationship is very superficial, not much substance.
If we have to focus on higher principles, the sacred principles, the divinity that has brought us together, and somehow or other adjust and harmonize whatever may come in our lives according to the higher principles. My Gurudev told this story at one marriage ceremony that I found to be extremely instructive, eventhough I have never been married, but i have seen lot of people who are married. I would like share this with you. He tells a story of Mahatma Gandhi, when Mahatma Gandhi was the father pioneer of modernage ahimsa, non nonviolence, he was married and he had a serious quarrel with his wife, they both became extremely emotional and it came to the point where Mahatma Gandhi shouted his wife, Get out of my house, Get out from here, so she cried and she left the house. this is pretty serious, Mahatma Gandhi he was the inspiration for many people for nonviolent change within the society, he was against fighting, but he was fighting with his wife. that is the nature of marriage, if Mahatma Gandhi can not keep peace in his house, don’t feel that we will be able to do it. He was much more experienced, empowered than any of us. sometime later he came out of his house, and he saw his wife sitting on the courtside. He said, ‘what are you doing here, you are supposed to go somewhere else’, then she looked up and said, ‘I have no where else to go’. then he smiled and said ‘alright, just forget it, let us go inside’, and that was the end of it. My Gurudev explained this is the solution for any problem in marriage, these two words ‘forget it’. Because what ever the problems that you have based on circumstances, based on two different egos, because the ego is such a thing when two egos are living so close to each other there has to be sometime disagreements, conflicts, it is natural.
But they are not important. what is important is the sacred principle of why we are together, as partaners in life to help each other to become pure. to help each other to practise Yoga, yoga of life. The higher principle is to help each other to love god, to help each other to be instruments of god ‘s love for the world. if that’s why we are married and to love and protect each other for that purpose, than nothing else is important. most of aborses these days are based on something that really aren’t important but if you don’t focus on a higher principle less important things become very important at least apperantly. if you see the whole picture than little parts can be adjusted, if you don’t see the whole picture one little part can create chaos.
I remember in my own life when i first came to live in an Ashrama there was a person, he came after me but he became my authority. there was nothing about him that i like and even more important there was nothing about me that he liked. i was thinking if wasn’t here in this Ashrama this kind of person would never want anything to do it and i knew that he felt exactly the same way about me. but somehow other we were milking cows together, we have to milk the same cow one on each side of the cow. despite our difference we both accepted in our hearts that the higher principle of our relationship is to help each other to love god, to serve god, to serve humanity. to follow the path that will purify our heart that’s the higher principle and everything else we just tolerate somehow other. because we focus on that principle within about a year we became best friends for the rest of our lives. we were so absolutely loyal, faithful and helpful to each other and i saw no faults in him anymore and he saw no faults in me. now this is marrige we are milking the same cow together, we were together serving practically all day, every day.
In my parents life I remember when I was about eight years old they were considering divorce. my mother said to me, she was putting mascara on in front of a mirorr and I was sitting on her bed watching her. I thought there was a very strange thing women putting on mascara. so I was watching and she said to me very seriously, he said every one like your fahter and everyone likes me but we no longer like each other. so we are going to separate and I cried, it was very painful just a thought of it. some hours later my father cam home from work I knew my mother is going to discuss this with him, so he went in the bedroom they closed the door. I was so disturbed that I secretly put my ears against the door to hear what they were saying. My mother said, this is what happen he was crying and heard them both saying for the rest of our life we will be together because this is what best for childrens, they never separated. I saw some years later, I never saw in my life at that time any two people that love each other so much. They were so, it was deep, it wasn’t about romance because romance you know it come and go, in fact it does. it wasn’t just about personality, complimentary views on things, it was about heart to heart sensible responsibility to each other for our higher principle. because they rather go through those difficulties together for higher principle which is their childrens they actually god awarded them with deep affection and love for each other.
Now higher principle than even children is the principle of god, the principle of our vows before the lord to help each other to become pure, to become enlightment within our lives. that’s the higher principle there is and that’s why traditionally marriages of all different societies people take vows in a spiritual place. because is consecrated for that value, we are consecrated togetheras a partnership in the service of the supreme of the divine. whenever some conflicts comes take Mahatma Ganndhi’s advice and just say to each ohter forget it, its not important the only thing that’s really important is the higher principle. what is a daimond, daimond is the queen of all jewel. a daimond is nothing but a piece of coal that’s under pressure for millions of years. gold is purified when it is put in fire, the king of metals. this is mother nature speaking to us, this is wisdom that by faithfully passing through the good times and the bad times and the easy times and the hard with each other and for each other for this higher value, that’s what actually marriage is meant to make us spiritually perfect. it will do that if we just understand the yoga of marriage. from a spiritaual prespective there is somethig more than my husband and my wife. mark, TJ Alee and Malinda is not just your wife, that’s there but a higher principle is this daughter of god, this is god’s personal deeply beloved daughter that is been entrusted in your care. how you treat her is how god will recieve you, how you speak to her, how you act to her, how you protect and protection as said is three level physical, emotional and spiritual. to give that protection, to be forgiving to each other and to honor your spouse as gods property, gods gift is how you will make spiritual progress. Anee and Malinda its not that mark and TJ is your husband its god beloevd child entruted in your care to protect to be faithful, to encourage and if you see each other in this light, marriage really is Yoga. your relationship is Yoga in essense and you make greta spirituaconsecratedl progress.
Feelings of affection may come and go but foundational therer should be respect, respect for each ohter and care for each other. through that afection can grow in to actual deep love connected to the soul. Physically we care for each other by providing them neccesities denpending on the particular nature of your occupation and relationship you priving housing, clothing and health and other physical needs. But emotional care is very essential this is what usually mariage is really could go off track. we have a responsibility to each ohter to make each ohter happy. Responsibility of the husband and the wife make the spouse happy, to help provide fulfilling life and every one needs appreciation and everyone needs encouragement. So many ladies come to me and say my husband just doesn’t care about me, he doesn’t like anyhting I do and when I go to the husband I say do you care about her, he said yes ofcourse , do you like what she does? yes I loved what she does do ever tell her , he said why should I ever tell her she should know. When tip that I have experience is unless you are really on an astro transcendental platform your spouse is not going to know what you are feeling unless you tell them. you cook a good meal, even my mohter and fatehr I learnt a lot watching them may be that’s why I am a Swami. My mother say I cook three hour every night your fatehr doesn’t even like it, I asked my father do you like, he said I love it. I said did you ever tell her, well I think I did, may be I didn’t but she shuold know, she doesn’t know. She will never know, communication is so important, sometiems in mariage we communicate with every body except the person who are living with that communication honest communication where we really do express our appreaciation for each other, express our affection for each othert, express it in such a way that we encourage each other. it is very critical for a proper relationship, marriage shouldn’t be just something that we are tolerating somehow other because we took vows.
It should be something very dynamic, very flowing and very real and very connected to the divine, where the strrugles are not just depressing the struggles are spiritaul challenges that we have to meet together and every time we over come those challenges you come to a higher spiritual platform. by following marriage in this way its the path of perfection, we have the example of Rama and Sita am i speaking too long.
Rama and Sita are considered not only Avataar’s of the supreme personality of godhead but hey appeared in this world in such a way to teach by their example the ideal behaviour of human beings. and since time immemorial in India Sita is considered the exemplery model ideal wife and Ram husband. now what happened at the end, that’s another question which we discussed with the yoga studio, but lets talk about the beginning(maharaja laughs). but lets talk about the beginning. that was something very very divine and beautiful. ram was banished to the forest for 14 years. he told Sita that you please stay here under the care of my mother and father and i’ll be back in 14 years. Sita said I’m coming with you. He said “not possible. you are a princess! your whole life you have lived in beautiful palaces. if you come with me, we will be living on the ground, under the trees. you wore the most beautiful silks. If you come with me, you’ll be wearing the barks of trees. you’ve been eating the finest meals. in the forest, there’s just raw herbs. And whatever fruits we happen to find on the trees. and you have been protected, on all sides in the forest there are snakes and there are scorpions and there are lions and there are tigers and there’s all kinds of wicked people, mosquitoes and it’s very cold in the winter and very hot in the summer. You have to stay home.
Sita said for me to be with you in hell will be like heaven. to be without you in heaven would be worse than hell. this is her dedication. Ram was still trying to disuade her. and ultimately she said when i got married to you, my father made a promise which your temporary fathers just made the same promise(Maharaja laughs). my father made a promise that through hard and easy, through prosperity or poverty, i would be with you. Ram you cannot make my father a lyer. i am coming with you. and she came, and she endured all those things on the basis of that dedication to each other. now in India every husband likes his wife to be like Sita, but very few husbands want to be like Ram. Perhaps to be both ways. what was Ram’s faithfulness, what was his dedication. when Sita was kidnapped by Ravana, do you all know this story? when Sita was kidnapped by Ravana, Ram he was so beautiful, so hansome, there would have been millions of beautful princesses who would be love to be his wife. but Ram searched in the forest for a year for Sita. and ultimately for Sita’s welfare he fought and entire world war! just to give to happiness and protection to his wife. Now, this may seem extreme. but models are usually extreme.It’s the principles that the two of them embody that according to the scriptures, are the direction they are giving to each other. this type of dedication based on a higher priciple of devotion to God, devotion to each other, devotion to dharma, and to be an example for humanity. the four of you are wonderful, effulgent, dynamic people and there is so much that the world needs from you. and when two people come together for such a sacred person then the power of both of you becomes increased significantly and what you can do to help the troubled world today.
I’ve only met all of you very recently but from what I see and what I hear I am so very very impressed and so grateful to have a relationship with you, Mark very soft heart, very sensitive person, very open minded, very compassionate, seeking something very deeply spiritual in his life. want to thank you very much for being who you are. and Amie, very dynamic spiritual person, very soft heart, very caring, for the welfare of others. she went to a somewhat isolated place, coronel New York, I’m sure nobody except people from coronel New York ever heard the place(Maharaja laughing), but she started a Yoga studio and it became a dynamic Yoga studio – hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of students. so she has become so highly respected in the whole community, and it’s not just based on business principles, it’s based on an ideal. the ideal of really trying to help people’s life bringing them spiritual harmony and upliftment. we are very proud of you and very honored to know you. and my sincerest heartfelt prayers to the two of you, can really have a relationship that will bring about not only deep deep fulfillment in your lives, but will bring you more closer to your own essence, your own soul and to God and you could do that divine will, the instruments of that divine will in your combined efforts. and i have great confidence that this prayer will be fulfilled.
Dee jay, very sweet, very simple, very competent wherever he puts his mind to, has a deep spiritual yearning, loves to read Ramayan, Mahabharat and other Indian scriptures, very much likes to chant the Holy names of Krsna, wonderful man. and everybody i know that knows you has very great love and respect for you. expert at touching hearts. and Mirinda what can i say about Mirinda(doubt about name). she’s very competent lady. she owns her own spa, where there is massages and all other things and very soft hearted, very devotional, very kind and also is really longing and yearning for spiritual experience and wanting to do something wonderful for the world. i hope from my heart of hearts and i pray that your relationship would be a glorious contribution to the world. and then you will bring each other real happiness and real love. in your relationships with each other understand that marriage is sacred. how you treat your spouse is very much how God, is going to, is how you treat God. and if you remember that forgiveness, humility, adjustment everything is very practical and possible on the basis of this ideal. Martin Luther kind said, if you dont have something you are willing to die for, you have nothing meaningful to live for. and marriage the relationship becomes deeply fulfilling and meaningful when you are actually willing to die for each other. and live each other. and with the name of God you can transcend all lesser distractions. so i am very much grateful to four of you for coming together and for including all of us. do you all agree?(smiles). i sincerely request all the assembled people who are here from their heart of hearts to sincerely pray that the Lord will bless them, inspire them and empower them to be happy together and to make others happy also. so let us all pray, and let us all express our prayer by raising arms and loudly chanting Haribol(Haribol by devotees 3 times).
Thank you very much! Raghunath Prabhu,